Sunday, August 29, 2010

Set Boundaries And Free Yourself!

I was recently given a book on the Secret Laws of Attraction by Talane Miedaner, how to make yourself irresistible.. ! :)

Its really quite interesting actually, so going to share some of my favourite parts of the book.

Every one has needs:
Being needy is not the same as having needs. Unfulfilled needs manifest as neediness and unfortunately neediness is mostly observed in romantic relationships! One person cannot fulfill your needs, this task needs to be spread out among your family and friends and people who already love you besides the man/ woman in your life..:)

The best way to get your needs fulfilled is to specifically ask for what ever it is you need. I recently asked for emotional support from my family and was amazed at how much love was showered on me!

An unfulfilled need is the result of weak boundaries:
People cannot hit me, people cannot be rude to me, people cannot take advantage of me, etc are some example of boundaries.
The first thing to realise when people cross one of your boundaries is that you have allowed them to do so. People have different boundaries, it helps if you inform them of yours by telling them gently at the first infraction.

Boundaries are not about controlling other people, people will do what they want. Its a way of teaching other people how to treat you. Boundaries help us to protect ourself and choose the environment we stay in.

This is what I liked best of all, it is not appropriate to have a boundary such as "People cannot yell at me", if you are yelling at others. Boundaries help to create standards that we must hold ourselves up to. An opportunity to be aware and grow as human beings...:)

The 4 steps to implementing your boundaries:
1) Inform: that your boundary has been crossed
2) Request: that the offending behavior stop
3) Demand: that the offending behavior stop
4) Leave: without any snappy comebacks or remarks

The trick is to be able to inform, request and demand in a neutral voice, as calmly as you would say the sky is blue!


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